My buddy. My buddy. My buddy and me!

It's strange how you can develop new friends real quick-like. And new best friends to boot!

Mofo was starting to be a real dick, well more of a dick really, to me and I didn't wanna hang out with him no more. SK wasn't around much anymore, and I felt like the others really didn't like me all that much to begin with...'cept for the Slut. Luckily, Photon Imprego had started hangin out at the good ol' HQ more. So I had a new friend to hang out with.

But there was work. A lot of it. I mean, a looooooooooot of it. Special projects at all hours of the night too. I mean, there's only so many talismans and spell books I can gather before getting bored. How much of that crap is actually here in town? It's like a hotbed for magical hooey stuff around here.

Anyways, I was starting to get a little depressed at work and apparently it showed in my performance. Work performance taht is. I never have performance problems in any other areas. I promise. Just ask the Slut. Or your mom!

Like I was saying, I was feeling down 'cause I was always working and not really having any fun or bein with my old friends. So the Mayor took me out. We went to Ryan's again and then went drinkin with some of the other people from the office: boss's helpers (Jurgen and Miloch), Lacey the kinda cute receptionist, Marcus my work driver, and all the dudes in the "Acquisitions" department (those guys are just creepy).

But we had a freakin' blast! Seeing the Mayor sing "Everybody Want to Rule the World" at kareoke was the highlight. He really likes Tears for Fears I guess, 'cause he sang that like 3 times.

And he's taken to telling me just how much he really appreciatess me working for him and giving me cool stuff as a thank you. But he told me not to tell any of the others in the office though. That portable dvd player and the kegerator were kick ass!!!

It's weird to think that you can be best friends with your boss. But I guess you can.

Uh oh. Phone's ringin. Time to go to work!!

LC

Ka-Pow!

I want my own action figure.
They’re so cool nowadays, and they make them really life-like with cool accessories too. Mine might come with a keg, Volkswagon, or Bongo. Oooh oooh! And it'd have kung fu grip and "bad guy busting action!" And a comic book written by one of those famous comics guys that shows me in action and telling the rest of the guys what kind of cool shit I did...

But the Reverend says to be really life-like, mine should spend ¾ of the time as an “inaction figure”, and then only come to the rescue when it’s done eating Pringles and soiling itself. I told him that his probably couldn’t be sold at Wal-Mart ‘cause he’s a child molesterer. Being the Man of God that he is, he punched me in the face. I laughed when he broke his hand. He sure can swear when he needs to, but I guess he’s been saving it up.

LC

All work and no play makes Liquid Courage...

A very tired superhero.

Man. It's just been work work work work work. On top of what little superheroing I get to do.

The Mayor gave me a cell phone so he could reach me whenever he needed me. I thought it was cool at first, since I wouldn't have to go into work on any regular hours (not that I had any), but suddenly he's had all kinds of emergencies and special projects that I have to help him with. And for some reason, he keeps getting attacked by super villains and I have to bail him outta trouble. I guess everyone wants to rule the City.

So I'm tired and I'm gonna hit the hay after I walk Bongo. My stomach is full (the Mayor took me to Ryan's) and I'm pretty buzzed, so somebody's gonna sleep good. By that, I mean me.

LC

By Crikey!

*sigh*
*even longer sigh*

Just when I thought my day couldn't have gotten any damned more annoying or aggrivating...

All right. At work I already had a few mishaps:
Marcus my driver for work dropped me off at the wrong building and I accidentally deconstructed a homeless peoples' shelter, I drank a bottle of rubbing alcohol that got left in the back of Marcus' car, I stepped on a rake and it hit me in the face, some old black lady hit me with her purse for being "some drunk flunky for the Man" or something, I stepped in wet cement...twice, stepped in a bucket, lost my keys to HQ, and stepped in dog poo.....twice. All in the span of my 4 hour work day.

But the day was salvageable until I got home and saw him just down the street.

I tried to avoid eye contact and dove around the corner but he spotted me. I think he heard me hit the trashcans. He came running over to me and just started in on me as usual. There was no getting away from him at that point. I just wanted life to end 'cause noone can put me in such excrutiating pain like he can... I hate him.

Nigel the Liar.

Fucking shit I hate him. The man does nothing but lie. Horribly! I mean, it's so bad that I won't even believe it...anymore anyways.

Last time I saw him he said that he had been made the new Pope for 15 minutes and before they de-Poped him he: legalized gay marraige, punched a nun in the face, took back the apology for the Holocaust and restarted the Spanish Inquisition.

He almost had me except for the legalized gay marriage one. He's about as homophobic as they come. They only come more homophobic like Mofo.

I won't even bother to tell you the crap he started in on me with this time. I was just pissed that I had to walk about a hundred dozen blocks in a messed up pattern so I could lose him and not let him know where our apartment, I mean HQ, is.

God, I hate him.

LC

Quit saying I eat thunder and crap lightning!

Ok, apparently yours truly has been involved in something that he did not know he was involved in. And no, I don't mean a cool yet awkward love triangle with 2 hot chicks. Although, I have been in a love rectangle with 3 hot chicks. Well, sort of. I mean the 3 of them went at it and I watched. But that counts, right?

Anyhoo, what I meant is that Mofo keeps yelling at me about how he's so ashamed that I apparently fought in some sort of underground superpowered fighters fighting thing.

Alls I know is this:
1. woke up with a pretty bad hangover.
2. There was a big ol' honkin' trophy in my bed
C. I had a pamplet with me drawn on it stapled to my shirt (and it was my good shirt too!)
5. The Mayor sent me a kick ass basket of stuff with some note that Mofo says is because of me fighting...that he hopes to God is because of that. But you never know, I could have helped him out with something work-related. Seriously tho, if you DO know, let me know, cause I DON'T know. Ok?
2. Mofo won't stop yelling at me about how I could have endangeered me and him, and the team and the city and him and our friends and him and on and on. But I told him I apparently had a check for 35 thousand bucks from something and he stopped.
H. Now he keeps asking me if I feel up for another couple of fights.

So did I fight in this turnament or what? I'm not exactly a gunshoe or a dick or whatever it is you call people like Mofo, so I'm gonna need a little help. I do remember some bright lights and loud noises tho...I just figured I wandered into traffic again.

LC

Strangerer and strangerer

Ok. Not long after I put up that other diary entry I got a special delivery. It was a basket of goodies: meats and cheeses and beers and bourbons. It was the coolest delivery EVER! I didn't even know you could have booze delivered. They never do it for me...

But the funny part was that it was from my boss, The Mayor. He has bad handwriting so it took me a little while to make out what it said, and I'm still not sure what it means:
"Liquid Courage,
Congratulations my dear boy! You made me very proud (and very rich). I knew that you wouldn't let me down. Enjoy the basket of goodies, I know how much you like them. I'll be in touch soon.
Yours,
Mayor Everitt Landon"

Okey Dokey. Apparently me and Bongo did the Boss a solid at some point. But whatever, I hear some meat and cheeses calling my name.

LC

I got nothing...

Ummmmm....What the Hell happened? Why does the man on TV say it's Janruary? It's only like Decembrer 23th or something, right? I mean, I was just doing the whole mall Santa thing last night. And why do I feel so tired and banged up? I don't get real banged up much. What frickin' day is it?

Why is there a trophy in my bed under the blankets? And what's with the pamplet for "2005 Superpower Brawling Holiday Spectacular" stapled to my shirt? WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE???? The stupid drawing doesn't even look like me, well kinda. I mean, I have waaay more hair than that. But that is a pretty good likeness of Bongo...

And who the fuck are these clowns?

Something's not kosher around here, and I wanna know what's going on. And what kosher means too.

LC