Bored bored bored…

So slow lately. Nothin’ goin’ on.

No villains. No ninjas. No giant monsters. No giant monsters. No giant, robot monsters. No hot chicks all distressing. No nothing.

It’s like they all left town or took a vacation or went to a bad guy convention or something. So I got absolutely nothin to do. Well, crime bustin’ stuff anyways. I guess I could go back to the Library again. Yes, apparently it is “library” and not liberry. Mofo gave me a little grammar lesson involving him pouring out a beer every time I said it wrong. It was either learn to say “Library” or rip his arms off for wasting beer. And I needed him to drive me to get more beer, so I had to learn to say liberr… I mean, library.

Like I was sayin’, I could go back to the library, but it’s not near as much fun now; cause I don’t have the cute, little librarian to look at and talk to. She got fired for doin’ guys (and a few girls apparently) in that back closet she showed me. Damn, I wish I knew she liked doin’ that, cause I’da hit on her on account of her being so cute n stuff. Sure wish she’d told me.

So no library. And I think I found the end of the Interweb too. I can’t believe I’m about to say this but, I’m all porned out. I just can’t watch any more. Well, today anyways.

So I gots to find somethin’ to do for the rest of the day and night. I think I’ll rummage through the closets and see what I can find. I feel slightly arts n’ cfraty.

LC

MeTube!

I’ll admit it: I’m an attention whore.

I mean, not nearly so much as Mofo is. Or Pretty Boy Slim. Or Panhandler Ingenuity, although he just always needs some kind of constant praise and stuff really. And then there’s The Slut. I don’t even think I need to go there, do I? Well, go there again if you get my drift. And by that I mean she’s a slut. And I’ve done her lots. But actually she’s not so much of a whore, cause she doesn’t charge you and stuff. She just kinda expects you to do something for her first or after. Which really I guess does kinda make her… look what you guys went and made me do. I got completely off the me bein’ a attention whore moral of this story or whatever the hell I was going for.

To reliterate, I like attention. Well, good attention that is. Not the “Have you seen this man? Because he’s wanted for questioning.”-type attention you might get from the cops. But again, I regress.



Somebody went and re-put up that little movie they came in and made about us that one day a few years back. Jebus, has it been years? Seems like it was just a blurry week ago. Anyhoo, they puts it up on the Interweb at some web location called Boob Toob or something. Wait, no that’s another site that Mofo was showing me. It’s um called America’s Funniest somethingoranother. No, that’s the show with Uncle Joey and the chick who beat up her baseball player husband like she was imitatin’ Shit Kicker. Lemme go ask The Reverend. He says it’s YouTube. Wow. I was way off on that last one.

So it’s up again. And guess who’s the little preview type opening image thing? Need a hint? Me. Crap, I meant… aw, never mind. It’s me.

So now mores and mores people get to see what a kinda boring day (no robots, Mortax, ninjas or nothin’ that day) in the life of some kickass superheroes is like.

Now I just get to sit back and wait for the film crews to come on back and make some more movies. That’ll be fun again.

LC

Saving “Tater Salad” from becoming “Mashed Taters”

Sweet! Bein a superhero is finally payin off! I got a reward for doin’ my job.

I was downtown on patrol the other day when I walked by the radio station. You know that one that plays like 1 good song, then like 7 crappy ones in a row after that? It’s like WLMNOP or something. Anyways, I was walkin by when I heard some yelling and noise coming from the back alley next to it.

I went into the alley and some guy was bein mugged. I was all like “Wow. I don’t even remember the last time I saw somebody being mugged. In broad daylight. When the hell was the last time I saw somebody being mugged in broad day time?”

The guy bein mugged was all like “Don’t just stand there! Help me!”

And I’m all like “Jeez, mister. Hold yer horses. I’m coming.”

And the muggers were all like “You better back off man. We’ll cut you!”

I was all like “Huh? You’re gonna cut me? Like actually try to cut me?” I guess they were new in town.

So I strolled over picked up mugger #1 and threw him clear out of the alley. I took the knife from the mugger #B and crumpled it up in my hands. I then channeled my inner pimp and bitch slapped him. Then I was all like “Consider that a warning. No more mugging people in my city. Oh, and I’m Liquid Courage by the way. Get outta here. Scoot!”

They took off and I helped up the guy getting mugged. You wanna know who it was? Only one of my favorite comedians: Ron White. You know the “Tater Salad” guy? The one who drinks during his shows? That guys awesome.

So, turns out he was doin some promo stuff at the station (which I doubt he’ll be doin again at WLMNOP any time soon) for a show he has at the end of the month.

And he gave me a free ticket!!

So I got to have the old school mugging experience, got to meet one of my favorite comedians, and I got a free ticket as a reward.

Good day, peoples. Good day.

LC

I. Love. The liberry.

This place is freakin’ awesome!

They have some of the coolest stuff in here. Let me tells you all about what the cutest little Liberrian showed me the joint had:

-Regular people sized computers
-Regular people sized chairs (apparently there’s more than 1 colorful section)
-A freakin’ ball pit and jumpy castle in the kid’s section
-Wooly mammoth and caveman display
-A sign that now says “Captain caveman” on the wooly mammoth and caveman display
-Porn. Lots and lots and looooots of porn. She said the liberry was s’posed to have complete collections or something, but they had to keep the good stuff in a hidden section to keep it away from the pervs.
-A section on superheroes. The city decided that since we have so many danged superheroes, they might as well dedicate something to them. So now we have a 6’ by 9’ section in the liberry with a hand written note dedicating it. But it is written in cursive.
-Bean-bag chairs
-7 water fountains
-A snack bar
- Some broom closet where the cute liberrian said that noone ever goes in, and that if 2 people wanted to do something in, that they’d never get caught or interrupted. Cool. So the next time I need to have a secret-type informant meeting, I can go there.
- and a whole bunches of othe stuff that I forgot.

I may have to come and hang out at the liberry more often.

Who'da thunk it?

LC

Man this place is quiet

The ‘puter at the ol’ Hq has been on the fritz. Again. So that’s why none of us have been able to write in our Interweb diaries.

I’m actually at the liberry right now using one of their ‘puters. But I keep getting weirdo looks from the Liberrian. Maybe it’s cause I look so uncomfortable in these little plastic chairs and desks they have the ‘puter lab set up with.

I don’t understand why they just don’t bring in regular size chairs and tables for regular size people. Oooh! They should bring in like recliners and stuff so you can really get all comfy when you diary online and look for stuff on the online highway. I’ll have to make a suggestion to the Liberrian.

Anyways, this is like the first time I’ve been in this place since the first time I was here. We had to come and respond to a analogous tip that The Bookworm was here messin up the joint. Huh. Come to thinks of it, I think that was one of the first times that Mofo actually called for back up. He said he got here expecting to find some nerdy lookin guy wearing glasses and a sweater vest just throwin’ books around and stuff. But he got here and there was some huge, freakin’ slimy-ass worm (wearin glasses) that was eating all the books and sliming peoples. I remember answering the phone back at hQ and Mofo was all like “Fuck this noise! Get your asses over here on the pronto!”

We did, we got slimed, and we kicked some wormy ass or whatever that thing had. Tail maybe?

So anyways, it’s my first non-action time here. I’m gonna go have a look-see.

Pieces.

LC