Ka-Pow!

I want my own action figure.
They’re so cool nowadays, and they make them really life-like with cool accessories too. Mine might come with a keg, Volkswagon, or Bongo. Oooh oooh! And it'd have kung fu grip and "bad guy busting action!" And a comic book written by one of those famous comics guys that shows me in action and telling the rest of the guys what kind of cool shit I did...

But the Reverend says to be really life-like, mine should spend ¾ of the time as an “inaction figure”, and then only come to the rescue when it’s done eating Pringles and soiling itself. I told him that his probably couldn’t be sold at Wal-Mart ‘cause he’s a child molesterer. Being the Man of God that he is, he punched me in the face. I laughed when he broke his hand. He sure can swear when he needs to, but I guess he’s been saving it up.

LC