Gonna get sued for being a hero (again)

Goddamnit! I really freakin’ hate yuppies!

So I was out at the Orange Julio stand (yeah, it’s a cheap knockoff of Orange Julius), just minding my own businesses and waiting in line to order a frozen chocolate-covered orange on a stick, otherwise know as a “Julio Bomb”. I was just standin there waiting and thinking about how I could replace Mofo’s old cookie jar, when I heard a lady all screaming about some runaway truck.

I turn around and sure enough, there’s a truck with no driver just a barreling its way down the street right at a crowd of yuppies standing in front of the new Starbucks. Those yuppies, being the yuppies that they are, were too stuck up and snooty to bother noticing what was goin on and didn’t bother to move at all.

I had a choice to make: stay in line and get my Julio Bomb, or save those damned yuppies and lose my spot and have to start all over again. That may have been the hardest choice I’ve ever had to make. What? I really really wanted my Julio Bomb.

But I did the hero thing and ran over to the Starbucks just in time to slam into the truck as it was just about to redecorate the building with yuppies. It was pretty damned cool if I do say so myself. I shoulder blocked it out of the way of those polo wearing zombies, who didn’t even bother to thank me. Unfortunately, I sent it right into the right side of Starbucks with their computer lab in it.

The next thing I know, I’m being attacked by all the Satrbucks peoples and then by the yuppies ‘cause they’re mad that they can’t get coffee ‘cause the Satrbucks people are busy yellin at me!

A few minutes later after telling everybody to go screw themselves and that I shoulda let the truck hit them, I was back in line for Orange Julio’s. After starting at the back of the line (again!), I finally get to the front of the line and place my order. And they were out of Julio Bombs. Apparently one of the yuppies heard me mention it and came over and got the last one.

I. Really. Hate. Yuppies.

And I still haven’t figured out what to do about Mofo’s cookie jar.

LC