Ooooh…awkward.

Goin into a restaurant and being helped by someone you know is usually cool. Like when Mofo used to work at Dairy Queen. I’d go in every now and then and end up getting free Blizzard and chicken fingers ‘cause he’d try to run me out of the DQ so I’d “stop making such a damned scene and embarrassing me”. I miss Mofo working at DQ and me getting free stuff. That old one next door to the new one did just burn down though, so I lost a bunch of memories on that one. I always kinda thought Mofo might’a done it, on account of him still holding a grudge against them for firing his ass like Vince McMahon does. He says he quit, but I’ve seen his pink slip. It actually was pink.

But it’s one thing to go in a place and see someone you know and might get free food from. It’s a hole different thing to go in all hungry and stuff, only to run into someone who doesn’t like you anymore (due totally to something that was so not your fault really); and then they just start throwing stuff at you and cussing you out in front of Ronald McDonald and everybody.

Apparently, Mofo’s not the only one who carries a grudge in this town. Who was the person who greeted me with “How may I help you, you sorry son of a motherless whore, who stole my life right out from under me, not to mention ruining every carefully laid plan I had for this God-forsaken town, oh! And making me lose my home, my cars, my collection of rare John Tesh imported cds, and making me so miserable I am no longer able to maintain an erection?!?!??”

It was the Mayor. I mean the ex-Mayor.

Yeah, so umm…. Awkward.

I’m pretty sure he got fired from there too. And again, so totally not my fault. I just walked in to get 2 number 3s, a hot fudge Sunday, Caesar side salad, and a Diet Coke. But no! I got run outta there after being assaulted with food and paper cups and stuff. I didn’t even get to order! AND, I’m thinkin’ about trying to get them to pay for the dry cleaning of my outfit, cause of all the stains.

I just hope he doesn’t get hired at IHOP, or Mofo won’t ever take me there again. Speakin of IHOP…

LC