I’ll take the Physical Challenge, Mark!

Sooooo… apparently I’ve been taking tests and passing them without even knowing it. Mofo says that for the past couple years we’ve been having to go and get re-certifiable every year to keep on being all legalized superheroes. I totally thought that Mofo was rounding up the team to take us to auditions for one of my all-time favorite TV shows of all time: Double Dare!!!

I don’t know if I’m mad or not really. On the one hand, I’m relieved that we haven’t been busting our humps only to not make it onto Double Dare hosted by Mark Summers. But on the other foot, goddammit I’ve been busting my hump to make it onto Double Dare hosted by Mark freakin’ Summers!!

I don't get to look at this pretty face all day...

Only this one.

I guess this really kinda explains the crappy parting gifts that we always got when we left (I just thought they gave us personalized membership cards to Blockbuster that had our pictures on it), why no one would ever tell me if we got to meet Mark Summers during the tryouts, and why we had to shell out $75 bucks just to try out for the show. I gotta admit though, I’d almost pay to go through that obstacle course on its own. That one’s fun, but they never have enough cars to throw and there’s waay too many cones to not knock over.

Huh. Thinkin about it now, I’m not really mad. Cause now I know that Mofo’s not screwing us out of a Double Dare appearance by tripping over that one tire EVERY FREAKING YEAR. Seriously, you’d think he’d get past it one of these times. I could’ve sworn that he was throwing the physical challenge, but I guess it turns out that he’s just friggin clumsy and a set of alternating, non-moving Goodyear tires on the ground is his weakness.

LC