You say "tomato", I say "ketchup"

You know, I’ve been fighting the forces of evil just as long as, if not longer than, the others; and yet I still get told how to do my job. Not my deconstructioning job, the other one. You know, the fighting evil one.

I’m really getting tired of hearing Mofo and Phlebotomy Iguana telling me that fighting crime IS: stopping robberies, rapes, world domination, mutant rabbits, etc… And that fighting crime IS NOT: punching someone through the wall for not tipping the hot waitress, throwing someone through a plate glass window for bitching about the hot waitress’ service, or picking up and shaking someone’s car for honking at us in traffic.

I think that some of us just have a very narrow view of crime and need to open their minds to the fact that not all criminals wear long capes, carry “weather wands”, kidnap us by using some of my villains, or end every monologue with maniacal laughter. Some of the most vicious criminals in the world look like ordinary people, like the guy in the fraternity t-shirt in the next booth who keeps telling his buddies that he’s gonna take the hot waitress home and make the monster with two backs. I’m gonna kill that son of a bitch. Sorry. I got a little off track there. I kind of like the hot waitress.

Anyways, why can’t we all just agree to disagree on the definition of "Supervillain"? Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go play Santa at the mall for all the kiddies.

LC

(Sponsor’s note: LC’s Grand Jury case for vehicular assault is coming up soon, and he may need some positive character witnesses. And yes, he actually did use a vehicle to assault some kid at the bar. Picked up a Chevy Corsica and chucked it right at the poor bastard.)