Oh, holy Hell!!!

Well, that date was interestin'. Lemme cover a few things about my date with Nikita (the Rushin chick I got set up with).

1. She likes to drink. (that chick almost put me under the table. no more vodka for me.)
2. She talks funny. (i don't mean "ha ha" funny, I mean "what was that?" funny. Although the way she puts "k" at the end of almost everything is funny. "ha ha" funny I mean.)
3. She's a skanky dresser. (that's really just weird. boobies are great, but leave a little to the imagination)
4. She's a whore. (and i don't mean like The Slut)
5. She ends a lot of sentences with "or I'll put this cigarette out in your fucking eye!"
6. She claims her last boyfriend deserved to have his weener cut off because he looked at her wrong (holy shit! holy shit! holy shit!)
7. She's surprisingly quick and agilely when she's had a litre of vodka, 2 lobsters, cheesecake and wants some "hot Moscow lovingk". (no matter how fast or where you run. this was a first for me)
8. Did I mention she's a whore? seriously. I asked her what she does for money and she said "just about anything". I was like "yeah, me too." She was like "No, I mean I'm a whore." I said "Yeah, sometimes I feel like that too. But not as much now since I got away from Mofo." She said "No I mean I have sex with men, and occasionally women, for money and other valuables." I was all like "Umm, you got me there. Wait, did you say women too?"


So, you can pretty much imagine my date with Nikita.

I gotta appreciate the Mayor's help and enthusiasm in this, but I'm gonna have to take a pass on another date. Or any other date with someone he tries to hook me up with.

And for the record, Lacey, I did not appreceate being greeted yesterday in the store with "So how was your date with the whore?" That's just rude.

LC
No more crazy ass, Rushin chicks!