Thems!

Man, I'm sorry its taken so long to say hello to all my internets friends. But I've been recovering from a weeklong bender, no I mean, a weeklong fight. (kinda sorta the same thing though, isn't it?)

Who was I fighting for a week? I bet you think it was that bastard Mofo. Nope. That wouldn't last long at all. Maybe my buddy The Mayor (not gay)? Nope, I wouldn't fight my bestest buddy. It was ants.

Yep, ants.



Ok, you guys remember my ball pit filled with jellybeans? Aw man, it's so frickin sweet! That's kinda the problem. There's a hole lotta sweetness in a big ol' pit. And those ants love the sweetness, I mean jellybeans. And it started off kinda normal: a few ants trying to get into my bean pit. But I sprayed 'em down. (oh, always remember to throw away any jellybeans that get sprayed too. they aren't good for you when you eat them. ugh!)

But more came. Slightly bigger. I guess the first ones were some kinda scout team. And they went back and told the others about my jellybean goodness. Cause the next ones were a lot biger, maybe some kinda soldier ants or something. But I squished 'em.

Then there were some the size of roaches, I kid you not. Biggest fucking ants I ever sawed. Bongo got in on the action this time as they were big (and fuckin' creepy enough) for him to squish too. I hoped that was the last of them.

Fuck me, no it wasn't. Goddamned things were bigger and bigger and bigger and fuckin bigger until they were like dumptrucks. I don't know where they came from, but I had to start killing these things with a shovel. I ran through almost half a bar trying to kill these things. Lemme tell you, if you come across one of these 9 legged dump trucks, just run. Go get a super hero, better yet, get a buncha them. Cause they worked my ass ove pretty goood. They can wrestle.

Finally they stopped coming but I wanted to track 'em down and make sure they didn't come any more. So I got Bongo to sniff them to where they came from. Go figure it was the sewer. Rather tahn fight those goddamed things again, I just caved in the sewers around them. Oh man, I caught a lot of shit for that too.

This was the first time I snapped at the Mayor too. He started telling me he was disappointed in how I handeled the sitiation, and I cut him off. I was all like "If you wanna go and fight those goddamned monsters, feel free. But I ain't gonna do it again!" Then I stormed out.

Now I ahve to go and get rid of all the jellybeans from the beanpit. I don't want anymore ants coming into my house ever. I mean EVER!

I'm thinking of filling it with something not sweet like Salt & Vinegar potatoe chips. Those are good.

LC