Here comes the money!

Geez, Louise. You guys are such drama queens. All I wanted was to spend some of my money on the stuff I wanted (Strange Brew dvd) or needed (that utility belt would come in handy fighting crime damnit!). I just didn't want it all taken away from me and I wouldn't be able to order any pizza or chinese (hi, Amasian!!). I do want to help the peoples that are troubled and chock full of helplessness. I just don't want to be the only one funding the hole operations. Not that I mind being Iron Man, in fact I look up to Tony Stark. I'd like to think we'd be good buddies if he were real. We'd go out for drinks and chase some "tail" as he would say. Then we'd fight crime like Ultron or maybe The Mandarin....hey, that's the name of the chinese place I get my food from...coinkidink? Maybe...

Anyhoo, I figured that since everyone knows how I make some of my monies now, that you guys on the Interweb would want to know how everyone else does. As far as I know anyhow:

Pretty Boy Slim- sells used cars now in his new city. Mofo says it’s pretty appropriate, seeing as how he’s always screwing people over. At least he gets paid to do it now.

Shit Kicker- I don’t know what he does. I think he won the lotto or something. He always has money to buy new gadgets like shitarangs and new fudgepackers. But for some reason Mofo doesn’t hound him for money for the A.S.S. Fund. Maybe Mofo doesn’t know about the money…oops.

The Slut- just gets gifts from some of her friends. She is always going out on “dates” and she says she’s working lots of different jobs, so that’s how she makes her money. I asked The Reverend what kind of jobs Slut does and he says they’re the ones you can’t put on your resume.

The Reverend- I have no clue how he gets money. I think he just steals it and says it’s a “tithe to the church.” I keep wondering where my pizza delivery man tip money is going. I kept thinking I was passing out and giving them to strippers, which is a possibility too.

Mofo- used to work at Dairy Queen. SK liked to say he was the Queen at Dairy Queen. Doesn't do anything now except for try to look broody (looks like he has bad gas and can't fart) and watch Gilmore Girls. How broody is that? But Rory is a cutie.

LC- your lovable, handsome, superhero worked at a local donut shop but know is employed by the City as a deconstruction worker. I haven’t started yet, but I’m sure work will be fun and go by fast, especially since I get to drink at work!

Pyromaniac Inferno- I dunno. I heard SK saying something about him making a lot of donations to the bank, but he wasn't sure who the hell would want any of his DNA. I'm not sure where he works but apparently he puts it all in the bank and has a savings bond or something.

Our roommate, Ted- Ummmm..... I still haven't seen Ted in a long time (no trip to the zoo), so I don't even know if he has a job. But they must not be too concerned about him because they haven't called or anything to check on him. Maybe they killed him and made him into a stew or something. We should investigate!.....just don't know where he worked in the first place. oh well.


So that's it. That's how we have some monies coming in. And going out really. So I guess maybe it is a good idea to pool our monies togther and help make our A.S.S. grow bigger and stronger.

LC