Dear Liquid Courage: Episode II

Earlier I mentioned that if your life was in shambles and you had noone to blame but yourself, I would help give the kind of advice that might help to make it better. Or maybe I'll just make fun of you. Ayways, one special reader took me up on my offer:

This guy who reads my blog is really mean. I'm not the oversensitive type and I appreciate sarcasm as much as anyone, but yesterday he told me my school sucks. This was totally uncalled for, as I am sweet and innocent and did nothing to encourage this nasty behavior. Can you help me please? What should I do?
- Alison

Dear Alison,
May I call you Alison? Dear, Alison. The Interweb is full of lots of mean people. That’s just a fact that you must learn to deal with, unfortunately. This guy (if he is indeed a guy) is probably just lashing out at you and your “sucky” school because of some personal issues. More than likely, he has some trust problems, issues with authority, and an over-exaggerated drinking problem. I would not worry about him.

However, you may want to consider that your school does indeed suck and you are just blind to the fact. But that’s a worst case scenario.

As I said, there are lots of mean people out there, and lots who claim they are really a “Hot, 5’10”, 22 year old, brunette girl who wants to meet you” when in fact they most certainly are not (you stay away from me, Larry from Amarillo, Texas); but there are also lots of really nice people in the Interweb as well. Take yours truly. I am nice. I am fun. I am here to help. So just focus on the good people and forget about the bad people.

And remember, it’s like Ms. Garrett said “You take the good,You take the bad, You take them both and there you have the facts of life. The facts of life. There's a time you gotta go and show You're growin' now, You know about the facts of life. The facts of life. When the world never seems, To be living up to your dreams. And suddenly you're finding out, The facts of life are all about you. All about you. You-u-u-u, A-ll about you. It takes a lot to get em right, But you're learnin the facts of life. Learnin the facts of life. Learnin the facts of life. Learnin the facts of life.”

I rest my case, your Honor.


So remember, if you have a question that only a liquored up, superpowered avenger can answer; and you can't get a hold of Tony Stark, ask me... Liquid Courage. Just drop your question in the comments section during the week and I'll see what I can do to piece your life back together on Friday.

Happy drinking!
LC