Another day, another dollar...

Well, that saying isn't really true in my case. In most of the Association's cases actually. I think the only one of us who gets paid as a result of any super-heroic work is Shit Kicker. And that's just because he was sued for wrongful death, but the case was dismissed. And he then sued the people who sued him beacuse of "character defication" or something. He just kept saying how those people were shitting all over him. So he was awarded a small settlement that he gets every month. The Reverend keeps wanting SK to donate to the Church, but SK says he'd rather give to the Human Fund, whatever that is.

Alls I know is that I need some money. Having to pay for all your "power ups" by yourself can be expensive. No one hardly wants to buy drinks anymore and I can't remember the last time drinks were "on the house." Whenever I ask someone to spot me for the night, I get "Fuck you and your fucking huge tolerence." Fine. The next time you need a tank lifted off your "alter boy", you can just lift it yourself.

Maybe I should learn from Rusty Wallace and the rest of those guys who drive race cars for a living. Mofo compares them to The Slut all the time: "Those fuckers drive like The Slut. Always goin' in circles and crashing all over the goddamned place. Not to mention how they whore themselves out to sponsors." I didn't know they had sponsors. I just thought they really liked Tide, Viagra and other stuff. That's why I like Rusty. I think he and I would be good friends, as much as he likes Miller Light. So maybe I should look into getting sponsors.

Can you see me running around with patches all over my t-shirt and jeans? Miller Light, Jim Beam, Red Bull, Domino's, Subway, Aflac, and Gilbert & Montlick: Attorneys at Law? I'd look pretty funny.

Maybe I should think about raising some money or something. I could have a telethon! Like Jerry Lewis has for all his kids! Yeah, that's what I'll do. I'll be one of Jerry's kids!

I gotta go make some calls. Talk to you later...

LC