Um, Liquid Courage, it's better to say that you're "powered up" and not "friggin' hammered", OK?

Sometimes you have to be creative when you talk with the media. They tend to show up right after you’ve just handed out a fresh butt whoopin to a villain. Or when you just got one.

But they’re always there to shove a camera or microphone in your face and “get a statement.” Just between you and me, the media doesn’t consider me vomiting as giving a statement; no matter how much SK tells them that’s our official statement.

The Reverend always tells us that “Any PR is good PR.” Mofo says that’s bullshit. “Just look at what happened to the Reverend and then to us. Does that look like good PR to you?”

So I’ve been told to watch what I say, or at least to put some thought into what I say before I say it. Most times I’m just told not to say anything at all. Which hurts me a little. But the rest of the team always has good ways of putting things, especially when it comes to me or anyone else on the team. Like they always say that I’m “government sponsored” instead of “on work release.” Or that we had some “unfortunate, collateral damage” instead of “that shit we accidentally blew up.” And my personal favorite is the time when The Slut got caught going down on Lord Nefarious, and Mofo said that she had knocked him out and was trying a new CPR technique on him. I kept asking her to give me CPR after that. :)

So remember: when faced with the media, run. Or find the nearest "official spokeman for the group." Do not tell the reporter that she's "freakin' hot" and ask her if she wants to "go and do it in the news van." It rarely works, so don't bother.

LC