I wish someone would spray me with the hose from a beer truck...

So I was watching TV last night and doing my usual flipping of the channels, when I landed on wrestling. WWE wrestling to be exact. I used to watch this stuff all the time. Hell it’s how I got half of my fighting moves. That flying forearm smash? Chris Jericho. The powerbomb? Bradshaw the Acolyte. Anyways, I was about to change the channel because I stopped watching wrestling a while back when it became too predictable, over the top and just plain annoying. And I was about to go back to watching my National Geographic special on “superhuman powers” (which were so unbelievably fake), when I heard someone mention my favorite wrestler of all time.

I know who you’re thinking. It’s pretty obvious that “The Model” Rick Martel would be my favorite. But he’s not. It’s not even “The Man’s Man” William Regal. My favorite is actually Stone Cold Steve Austin.

Stone Cold was someone I could look up to when he was wrestling. Drinking beer and kicking butt. Those were 2 things I liked to do as well. I always wanted to be friends with Stone Cold, and I even wrote him a letter. But I never got a response back from him. I guess it got lost in the mail or something. How could he not want to hang out with someone who liked to drink some beers, some tequila, some whiskey, eat some fajitas, drink some more beers, some margaritas and some more beers; all before going in to work to “whoop some ass”? Oh well, maybe someday our paths will cross and we can whoop some evil ass together. Like taking on Triple H and Lord Chronos the Timebender in a tag match. And The Slut could be our valet. I’ve heard The Reverend say she’s basically an escort, so I figure she’d be a natural to walk us to the ring.

For now I’ll have to settle for watching Stone Cold battle that SOB Vince McMahon, and asking myself whenever I have a problem, “What would Stone Cold do?” It’s usually the same thing I’d do: drink some beers and whoop some butt!

LC