Helpin' a brotha out

I think I have one of those secondary mutation thingies. Not only am I super-duper strong and nigh invulnerable oh! and super swaav, but I think I can help peoples get laid easy too. Well, that is if that’s what happens when I donate free beers.

I was out at the bars the other night when I gots a call about crime goin’ down. So I had to finish the big beer I had and haul bootay up the street. The problem was that I couldn’t leave the bar with my newly fresh poured big beer, I had to either drink it or give it away. I really had no time to chug it (and probably weave my way there instead of a strait line), so I spotted some hot little chick-a-dee (I’m bringin that back like “bogus”) and I was all like “Hey! I’m LC and I have to go do some thwarting and stuff. Here, have a free big beer!” and I took off. I know, I know. I could have just pummeled my way out one handed and kept my big beer, but the bouncers are friends of mine and that’s just bad business to be pissing off bars that I get free stuff from. So I had to be all law-abiding.

Any hoo, I gave the chick-a-dee the free beers and took off, and I’m willing to bet doughnuts to fruit roll-ups that she got good and drunk enough to hook up with some lucky schmuck. Way to go, buddy! You got lucky thanks to me!!

This is all spaculation at this junction though. But I’d like to think that I’m still helping even when I’m not there.

It’s nice to be a superhero sometimes.

LC